When I wake up on my birthday:

What I expect my parents have planned:

What they actually do:

(Source: )

unfreshing:

back when i was younger and i didn’t know what gay was my parents would always tell me that the guys my uncle brought on trips with him were his “best friends” and i used to just think he was really popular but now i know he was a WHORE

(Source: qoafosho)

dailychinchilla:

(via)

relatives: any boyfriends?
me: no
typical conversation at every holiday since I was 5

(Source: dont-be-ign0rant)

i was just posing sensually when the camera turned on by itself. i am not a model

(Source: robotindisguise)

ant-and-declan:

Dec on Ant

obesealpaca:

When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know

Those fries could be salted with tears